It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was a wondering minstrel and asked if she could trim his flatmates armpit hair

For a moment he thought she might be genuine. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he pulled out an umberella and invited her in.

Donald made a living nowadays as a frump drag queen

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a whore, the Sista a star turn and Buttons a loose hole

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald climbed up into the crows nest

She dragged him back to earth, then beat him severely

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but it was fun whilst it lasted