It was dark outside when Donald answere the door. She had said she would be there at 6 o clock but now it was more like 9.00. She was travelling hoover salesman and asked if she could suck the life out of him and his carpets as a demonstration of her product.

For a moment he thought she might be an escapee from Holloway Prison. But she didn't seem quite as psychotic as most of the people he'd met latelty so he suggested they go out for sushi.

Donald made a living nowadays as a gas station attendant

.............

She spent days trailing around after him, collecting video footage for her net site and listening to stories about the time Shiela Tequilla and he had "been too much for Naples".

The pantomime developed loosely around the tale of Cinderella. Donald was Donald, the Prince was a former Prime Minister, the Sista a bitchy goddess and Buttons a dominoes expert

It all went well until the night of the performance, when, after drinking the free vodka, Donald got behind the wheel of a monter truck and flattend the whole damn town

She laughed uncontrollably for 37 days and then fell asleep

and the hotel fire alarm went off at 5.00am in the morning. They all looked dog rough, except for Donald who had matching blue cotton Pyjamas.

They never found out "who done it" but it doesn't really matter much.